on Virgins, Crying and Chillin’ : What my kids say PART 1

A break from the narrative.

Here’s a  list of the pearls my kids blurt out from time to time. That’s just a nice way of saying “shit my kids say”, but Wifey says I shouldn’t swear when writing. Oh well.

E – Eldest
Y – Youngest
numbers – the age at which they said it


While in a busy cellular network retailer, quite loudly:


aaand that’s why we don’t listen to Madonna in the car anymore.


“Mommy, why do my eyes water when I poo?”

I researched this to give her an answer. She’s not the only one and if you’re interested then Google it yourself.


When entering my PIN number at the cashier’s card reader with a long queue behind us:

“DAD, WHY DID YOU PRESS (insert PIN here)”



Me: “love, please sit down and finish your food.”

“Take a chill pill”

I’m not even mad at that.


On where we come from:

“We live in mommy’s tummy and we are an egg and we come out and we are chickens and we grow into babies.”

Me: “So we were all chickens once?”


“But what about the eggs we eat?”

“Mommy doesn’t want more kids”

I just let that one be.

Y2/3 – the Bellybutton Chronicles

On trying to learn what a navel is referred to as:

Me: “Honey what’s that called?”

“That’s my butternut.”

Same question, some time later:

“A peanut butter.”

And again:

“That’s my jelly bean daddy”

I couldn’t bring myself to correct her. This was gold.